


#1 - Origo

by angelsandbrowncoats



Series: Eurovision 2017 Fanfic Challenge [43]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Kid Spock, amanda is my hero tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11098170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsandbrowncoats/pseuds/angelsandbrowncoats
Summary: Amanda struggles with the knowledge that her son is bullied for having emotions. She and Sarek do not see eye to eye.





	#1 - Origo

**Author's Note:**

> I want to apologize beforehand. This song strikes a chord with my soul and there is nothing I could write, in particular no fanfiction, that could ever convey the sheer beauty and emotion within the music. I thought it would be more difficult to write for my least favorite songs, but as it turns out, many have superfluous love messages that translate well into fanfiction. Anything I could think to write for "Origo" seems to trivialize the lyrics which hold such deep meaning, something I am loath to do. However, I challenged myself to write 43 fics, so try I shall. I hope I have given this song the respect it deserves and done it justice.

Amanda stood on the balcony of their home, face painfully distorted in the effort to keep it from being impassive. She'd had more than enough impassive faces for a lifetime. She was livid and she was damn well going to _express_ it. Her hand trembled slightly, muscles tensed beyond their capabilities, as she brought a glass of lemonade to her lips. The drink was far from her favorite, but it brought with it memories of Earth, of childhood, of _normal people_ who didn't exclude children for _feeling_ of all things. It was refreshing but not satisfying. Oh how she wanted to teach those children a lesson...

_They are just children_ , she reminded herself. The teachers, however... they deserved a good beating. Not that it would register as anything other than an example as to why emotions were bad, she supposed. _Ugh_. Reasoning with Vulcans was like reasoning with a brick wall, for all they touted logic. How many times did she have to remind them that emotion had driven some of the greatest ventures (and some of the most heart-wrenching rescue missions) in the universe? And still they refused to listen.

"Amanda," a cool, steady voice broke through her thoughts, its indifference only serving to anger her further, "How long do you intend to remain here?"

She didn't answer him at first, waiting for him to join her at the end of the balcony. When he had, she spoke without looking at him, "You said it wouldn't matter."

"What are you referring to?"

"You know what I'm referring to," she bit, holding back the insults that threatened to pour from her lips. He always managed to make her feel like she was losing the argument when she swore, as if it weren't a perfectly valid method of communication.

"I'm afraid I do not," he persisted, confusion and the slightest concern tinting his voice. She rolled her eyes, "You said my being human wouldn't matter. Not for me and not for him."

"And it shouldn't. The Vulcan way should be strong enough to contain his irrational outbursts and yours are excused due to your upbringing."

"When I asked you if it would matter, I did not mean if it could be excused or... or... pushed down! Your son is my son and it is the human half that will hurt by telling him to suppress it! He will resent you, he will resent both of us, and we will damage him beyond repair because he will be too busy hiding his pain to allow us to know him. Your 'Vulcan way' will isolate him from both Vulcans and humans and condemn him to a life of solitude. I will not stand by and let you do this. Not for Vulcan, not for your reputation, not even for you would I stay silent while my son suffers. I would die first," Amanda was fuming by the time she had finished, practically panting while her brain raced with thoughts of absconding with the child to Earth. She loved Sarek with all of her being, but even he would not stand between her and her son.

"You see, that is the attitude that Vulcans seek to avoid. Why must you focus so on suffering and death? No one is asking you to die for Spock, why must you suggest it?"

"I am not 'suggesting it', I am merely using extreme examples to support my claims. I would not want you to doubt my sincerity or underestimate my determination," she said, unable to keep the sneer from her voice as she adopted a more Vulcan-esque form of speech.

"Those are things that I would never do, Amanda. I am too familiar with your methods to do so," he assured her, "But you must also remember that Spock has asked to remain here. He sees that the Vulcan way is the correct way, even if you do not."

"He stays to prove himself, because he feels he does not have your respect or approval. Nothing more," she turned away from him, making to return to the house. As she passed him, she added, "I will allow Spock to decide this for now, but know that he will one day be as proud or more of his human heritage as he is of his Vulcan heritage, even if it is neither you nor I that make him so. You will not rob him of half of his identity, no matter how embarrassed you may be of it."

"Amanda-"

She left the balcony, refusing to listen to whatever rebuttal he might make. Probably something logical. Well logic could go fuck itself, if it was logic that allowed her son to be bullied for his differences, if it was logic that told him he should take it as the lesson it was. In the end, did the Vulcans really have identities? Or were they just logic embodied with different names and faces? She believed in Sarek (most of the time), but what even was a personality on Vulcan?

"Mother?"

"Spock," she greeted, "How are you?"

"Well. All of my systems are functioning properly."

"That's not what I meant. I meant how are you feeling?"

"Mother, feelings are illogical. How many times must you be reminded?" he asked, but he did not meet her eyes. She knelt beside him, placing a hand on each of his shoulders, and said, "Don't back talk your mother. I can see when you're hurting, and I don't think any less of you for it, nor would I think less of you for showing it. If you don't want to talk, that's fine, but never think there is something wrong with you because of what you feel. Passion is the single greatest motivator in the universe."

Spock said nothing, keeping his eyes on the floor as he searched for an appropriate response.

"And remember that I will always love you, no matter what you do or what you feel or what you try not to feel."

"Thank you," Spock replied, walking the line between failing to respond (a thought he could not bear) and responding (for which he would yet again be a disappointment to his father, in his mind anyway).

"I suppose I could find you a more logical way to express your emotions..." Amanda thought suddenly, "Say, how do you feel about music?"


End file.
